PHOTO:

Rev. Dr. Joseph Kimatu

By:

JAMES GACHAU

Posted:

Dec,01-2018 22:16:50

Groping for Support: When Death Strikes Far Away is the book we have all been waiting for!

Speaking with Ajabu Africa News, the author, Rev. Dr. Joseph Kimatu, said that he was inspired to write the book by the dire need he found in the Kenyan diaspora community for support with grief and bereavement.

"I am a pastor who cares," he explained. "For some reason, people open up to me very easily, and many of the flock at our churches here in New England have shared their stories about the grieving process when you are so far away from home."

Dr. Kimatu said that he has a very soft heart for his flock, and he always gets pained when he sees how their need for emotional and psychological support goes unmet whenever they lose a loved one back at home.

A married father of 3, Kimatu has been serving in the ministry as a pastor for over 30 years since he was first ordained by the Presbyterian Church of East Africa (PCEA) in Kenya. He later immigrated to the USA for further studies and ended up serving the Diaspora community.

"When you lose a loved one in the Diaspora, you end up groping around in the dark for any but very hard to find support, much like when you groped around in darkness in your house back in Africa, before rural electrification came into existence. Everyone is so busy attending to the endless needs of family, work, or school, which is typical of life in a foreign land. Finding time to attend to someone else's issues is problematic," Kimatu told Ajabu Africa.

The first chapter in the book addresses those of us in the diaspora who suffer in silence because we are unable to travel back to Kenya for the burial of our loved ones. If, for instance, you are a student on an F1 visa, and your relative or friend dies, you would need someone to help you pay your airfare to go back home. But supposing your visa has expired and you have fallen out of legal immigration status? Then it is even worse! You cannot go for your loved one's funeral because you would not be able to come back.

These are some of the issues addressed by Kimatu's handy new book.

Pastor Kimatu also told us that he is greatly pained by the lack of communal support in the Kenyan diaspora.

"Yes," he said, "we are very willing to give money to the bereaved, and we will easily raise 15 to 20 thousand dollars for funeral expenses. But once the fundraising is over, we all go home and forget about the grief the bereaved one continues to endure."

"We need to establish support groups that can help us effectively mourn the ones we have lost!" added Rev. Kimatu, who serves as the pastor of the Ushindi Prebyterian church in Lowell, MA, and was the president of the Kenyan American Pastors' Fellowship (KPFA) between 2011-2015.

Grief, explained, Dr. Kimatu, is not easy or straightforward. It is the most common suffering we all endure as humans, but it is the least understood. Christianity, the pastor continued, is sometimes at odds with African cultures and customs. When the missionaries came to spread the Gospel, they uprooted the traditions we had, and left us with the European culture of individualism, where mourning has been reduced to as few as five days.

This clash between Church and culture was one of the reasons Dr. Kimatu chose to publish his book with a Kenyan publisher. At first, he had an offer with some prestigious US publishers, but during the editorial process, they asked him to rewrite the first two chapters to make the book more palatable to the American audience.

"This would have made the book theirs," he said in protest, "and not mine."

Consequently, he sought the services of university dons in Kenya and now the book is being published by people who understand African customs and beliefs.

But that is not all!

Groping for Support is not limited to Kenyans. Pastor Kimatu told Ajabu Africa News that he interviewed Brazilians, Mexicans, and other immigrants for the research behind the book, which has been eight years in the making.

"Suffering in silence is a common theme for all groups of immigrants," explained Kimatu. "I talked to Brazilians and Mexicans, and they all expressed the difficulties they face when death strikes so far from home."

In addition, Dr. Kimatu has found that the rising tide of suicide, domestic violence, divorce, and even murder by loved ones here in the diaspora can be traced to unresolved grief.

"Grief makes people lose connection with loved ones," he said. "If we do not effectively mourn the death of our loved ones, we end up frustrated and angry at life and everyone around us."

One of the questions Rev. Kimatu sought to address in his research was whether the church has programs to deal with grief. He sent out a questionnaire to about twenty pastors and only three responded. He even held face to face telephone interviews with the majority of them. And their response stated that NO!, the church has no effective program to deal with grief.

Groping for Support therefore is not only timely, it is also relevant and highly useful for anyone and everyone facing grief. It is dedicated to the thousands who suffer and grieve in silence. It offers extremely helpful tips and suggestions on how we can cope with grief as a community, and come to an effective closure with bereavement.

With an appendix, index, and bibliography, it also gives a comprehensive list of other resources, such as easy-to-read books and pamphlets we can pursue to cope with grief and loss. Rightly, Dr. Kimatu is looking for ways to make it available to seminaries and theological colleges.

Make sure you come to get your own signed copy on Sunday, December 2, 2018 at 3:00 p.m., at Ushindi Presbyterian Church, 450 Chelmsford St, Lowell, MA 01851.

Author's Note

In life, we are most of the time grappling with something, in our hearts, our minds; tangible or intangible things. Some fights are simple and small, others are hard and long. Of them all, there is no greater fight than when one is wrestling with loss and especially the loss of a loved one. In this fight, no one is spared. Loss touches us all. Unfortunately, it is normally coupled with grief. We mourn over our losses. The loss of life being more intense and impactful than other losses. When it comes, sometimes at a much unexpected time, we are left weak, discouraged, unarmed, and searching. Sorrow and sadness takes its toll on us. However, with support, and of course God's grace and mercy, we pull through. If support is forthcoming from both these sources, we heal and overcome the grief faster.

If support is not coming, grief weighs heavily on us and we mourn for a long time, sometimes for life. Unattended grief is debilitating. It comes with many complications. It affects our whole being, physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically and socially. That's why support is integral to those who are in such situations. I have been there, and I am sure you too have been there. Groping for Support (a product of 8 years of research) is the Book for you and me. It's a book that helps us recognize what those who lose their loved ones go through, sensitizes us to realize they need our support, disseminates the understanding of the inner cry for support that emanates from loss, and suggests ways in which we can be of assistance. This is a book for all of us, individuals, support groups, churches and other organizations. From reading this book, Groping for Support, we will learn to offer support. We all need it, but some need it most.

Get yourself a copy.

The Launching of the book will take place on Sunday, December 2, 2018 at 3 pm at Ushindi Presbyterian Church, 450 Chelmsford St, Lowell, MA 01851.

The author of Groping for Support: When Death Strikes Far Away, is the Rev. Dr. Joseph Kimatu whose post-graduate studies have been on Psychology, Pastoral Care and Counseling. He is also a Board Certified Chaplain, a pastor, mentor and an instructor. That wealth of learning and experience has been put into this book. Get yourself a copy. It will leave us all the better. Supporting one another against our common enemy, Grief, is the way to go.

God bless you all.

Rev. Dr. Joseph Kimatu

(M.DIV., MACM, D. MIN., DD.)

For more info, contact Rev. Dr. Kimatu at: (404) 384-1729

Source:

AJABU AFRICA NEWS