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By:
Josaya Wasonga
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Aug,31-2016 13:21:06
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In social media circles, a picture can be worth thousands of likes or trolls, depending on innumerable variables.This is what Ababu Namwamba learnt, when a picture of him bottle--feeding his infant son, Ababu--Terrah, surfaced on Facebook.
Ababu, 40, is a second term MP and attorney by profession. Married to Prisca Ababu Namwamba for eight years, the couple has two other children: Tanya Helena, 7 and Ababu Jnr, 5. "The picture was actually posted by my wife," Ababu explains. "I guess she just wanted to share the beautiful moment with the world."
That shared moment made Ababu and, by extension, fatherhood a talking point.The legislator is quick to clarify that fatherhood, not politics or litigation, is his premier joy and pride. "There is no gift more divine; no task more blessed; no duty more fulfilling than parenting. My most favourite responsibility, the one that gives me most joy is fatherhood. Family is the safest refuge, the most assured investment, the foundation of society. Invest in it and you will not regret. "I am normally present from the moment we know we are going to have a baby to the moment when the baby arrives. That is something you don't want to miss."
I can easily understand Ababu's situation. When my wife was pregnant with our daughter, Pudding, whose life I chronicled in a newspaper column titled Fatherhood 101 for nine years, I was working in a non-governmental organ--isation where there was no provision for annual or paternity leave. In her third trimester, I took two weeks unpaid leave to be with her. During that time, I helped in preparing for the arrival of the new baby. I bought baby clothes.
Took over the running of the house. Became the masseur--cum--chef-cum--listenercum--errand boy. When, say, my wife craved bhajias, I dashed two estates away to buy this quick fix. To date, I still associate bhajias with a baby bump. "How is a man going to lead the community and nation if he cannot lead his family?" Ababu poses, asserting that leadership and fatherhood are conjoined twins.
"How can you care for the community, and show love and affection to citizens out there when you do not practice that right from home?"They say human beings are creatures of habit. It's the habits you develop that define you; which ultimately make your character. According to Ababu, if you do not have the habit of spending time with the people who are closest to you--loving, caring and creating time for them--how are you going to do that for strangers?
"Parenthood should be more important for a leader more than anyone else. How you care for and lead your family is the perfect way of training for how to care for the people you represent," he says. In my case, we had agreed with my wife that we would not employ a house help when the baby arrived. Thus, I would take over the running of the house until such a time as she felt fit enough to resume her duties. The two weeks' leave was my mental preparation for the tasks ahead.
When the baby came, I became the chore master. I did all the household tasks, before dashing off to work at 5.30 am and returning at around 6 pm to do more chores. During the day, I called her intermittently.The support impacted my wife positively. She healed faster.She was a happy mother and wife. She was in the right state of mind to do the most important job in the world; nursing our newborn. "Paternity leave is part of our terms of service as MPs," Ababu fills How can you care for the community, and show love and affection to citizens out there when you do not practice that right from home? How is a man going to lead the community if he cannot lead his family? me in when I ask if parliamentarians are entitled to this priviledge. "What I don't know is whether members take advantage of it. It's not a weakness to be in the house to clean, prepare food and feed your baby. It's not a weakness to help around the house.
It's actually a sign of a very balanced personality...and strength.Strong people care for the weakest.True strength comes in service. "What many of us forget, by the way, is that when the chips are down, after you have exited from this public life, or even when you land in any trouble, the people who will be there for you, comforting you and spending time with you are your children, your wife, your family."
Read Wife's Mood
A husband's perceptiveness and support is the difference between a happy and sour home.Occasionally, I came home early, babysat and told my wife to go out with her friends for coffee.This was after she told me how, at times, the baby would bawl her lungs out, and, after trying all tricks and lullabies, she would also start crying.These little treats recharged my wife's frayed nerves.They made her know that I cared.
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