| PHOTO: | Single mothers and widowed women who turned up for the official launch of the Easter Region Chapter of the Single Mothers International (SMI) at Nguutani Mwingi West display a banner./FILE |
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By:
JOSEPH NDUNDA
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| Posted:
Jun,25-2018 14:04:17
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Should Christians adopt polygamy to end the paternal crisis that has seen many children grow up without fathers?
Rev. Vincent Mulwa of Christ Pilgrims Restoration Centre says Christians must wake up to the reality that the number of marriageable women is higher than that of men, and men should be allowed to marry more than one wife to give opportunity to more women and children to have husbands and fathers respectively.
He says to fight the single mother menace, it is about the church to think again, admit that adult women are more than men, and make polygamy acceptable.
"For marriage purposes, girls mature earlier than the boys. That is where the whole complication comes in. We are in a situation that is difficult to resolve because of the 'religious foolishness' that the church has upheld," Mulwa says.
"No clerics want to be quoted to be the ones agreeing with me [on adopting polygamy]. They all fear their wives because everybody asks themselves, what will my wife say? Others fear what their congregations will say, but we are getting into moral irresponsibility by embracing monogamy as what is Christianity."
Mulwa says many parents never want their girls to get children before marriage or be a second wife. But when they see her age advance, they tell her as you look for a husband, make sure you get a child, and that is why it has become so normal.
He says when children leave form four, both boys and girls have attained 18 years of age. Girls can marry at this age but not boys, who will have to wait for at least six years to be mature for marriage, hence there is a difference of more than six years.
This means the wives' market will be receiving adult women but men will not be coming.
Also, you find the widows are more than the widowers everywhere. Insisting on one man one wife can't work in this scenario, Mulwa says.
"The church has kept quiet, we are not condemning girls for having children before marriage. Now women have taken advantage of that and they now want to be happily single mothers. It has become normal for women to have children out of wedlock, and they are serving in church as pastors and all that," he said.
PRO-WOMEN LAWS
The bishop says "pro-women" laws have encouraged women to jump out of marriages at every opportunity. He blames the government for going ahead with the child upkeep law that says a man who has sired a child must provide for that child, without asking why the man has not married the woman.
"A woman says I cannot get married because men are useless, yet she is raising her son, pampering him. Then I ask, woman, you don't want to get married because men are useless but you are bringing up a man. Who tells you that your son is not useless like men?" Mulwa says.
"These girls are running away from marriage very fast to go and be free. Others accuse the young husbands of being unfaithful, but when she quits marriage, is she going to be alone sexually? No. She is going to have several men. Girls don't want to get married because they have gotten a loophole in church that marriage is not a must, or a serious thing in the society, and they can live, have children and take care of them."
Mulwa says the problem is exacerbated by the fact that single women have become the mentors of girls, "and I must say we are headed for trouble" because the girls want to be happy single mothers, they have a loophole of being happily single, and on the other hand, men not being responsible.
"That is where the men are lacking wives, despite the girls just moving around having enough sex, each with their own child, or saying I will get a child when I want and with whom I want," he says.
"If all women were getting married, there would be no woman who would want to be single; they would all get married. It is not all men who are bad. In a village, you will find two or three men who are drunkards and useless, but we have responsible men there. And the responsible men should be allowed to take care of various women who don't have husbands, who have children outside wedlock."
Mulwa says the problem has been blaming men for all marital problems, and most have become brutal because of how their wives are disrespectful, because they know they can quit the marriage.
He says women should stick to marriages to gift their children with fathers around them, even if not the biological father.
"And after all, who are these single women having sex with? Isn't it the same married men? Then they should be wife number seven of that man and all their children will have fathers," Mulwa says.
"It is wrong to always look at the same corner, and this is why women are making noise all the time. We are single because men are bad. Yes, there are a few who I agree should remain without wives, but let those women get married to those responsible men they go to secretly, and stop doing it secretly."
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